when words dwindle thoughts

The Dumb Rag Picker

2009-09-10T23:13:00.004+05:30

This stunning image is from aussiegall's photostream on flickr

The cocoa garden behind our rented little house was my favorite haunt. I spent my time climbing the small trees and chasing the brownish orange hens that were always pecking around in our backyard. When the evenings caught up with time, I would run back to the vicinity of the Grampoo tree near the kitchen. The cocoa trees were scary after dark. They seemed to be stripped of all friendly essence that they showed to me all morning. It was during such evenings that she appeared in the empty plot nearby gathering wood.

I would still be playing unwary of her presence till the moment she called out 'Appi...'.It would be the best imitation of the word she could make taking into consideration her impairment. The syllables would send a chill down my spine which would make me run into my house or better if my mother was outside, behind the end of her Saree .When I had reached my safe destination, then only would I even gather courage to stare back at the voice that called me. She would be standing there leaning against the wall smiling at me. Red lips perched on a dark face. A smile which I always never understood. She used to stand there and chew on betel leaves. Her long nose was adorned with a nose ring. These for enough for me to classify her as a child snatcher who would kidnap me, take out my eyes and make me sit in front of unknown places begging for money.My Mom would start talking to her, laughing at the awkward run I made back to her. She would respond back in sign hand signals and incomprehensible sounds. Mom listened intently to it trying to make out what the rag picker was saying. But my mom didn't know what I knew. The very thing that the woman over there would kidnap me once and take me away from my family.

School had left early that day. I had a whole afternoon to play. Infact I had a mission to accomplish today. Hari had bragged that he climbed up a very big Guava tree and about how he had plucked the ripe Guavas from the topmost branch. Tomorrow I was going to say so about my Cocoa tree. Not some cheap Guava tree. I flung my shoes here and there and ran to the backyard only to have my Mom pick me up by the ears and make me put my things in place before going out.

It stood there in the middle of the whole plantation. Tall and unwelcoming. I scrutinized the size and shape for a moment, planning my route towards the top. Step by step I made my way up. I was half way up when i noticed an unforeseen glitch in the operation. The next branch was two steps up. But a soldier never stops even in the most adverse of situations. I gave a lurch for the branch , hands and legs flying in the air. For a moment I thought I was superman. But the hard fall to the ground brought back reality. A painful cry echoed in the plantation. I tried to get up and successfully failed at the attempt. I heard the sound of rustling leaves behind me. Nothing more could go wrong. The rag picker had seen me. She knew I was helpless. Soon I was going to lose my sight. As she came nearer by fast strides, my efforts could only move me inches. I closed my eyes and prayed to God.

I felt hands picking me up. I closed my eyes tightly, I would give a fight till I last. I could stand upright now as blood started flowing normally through my legs. I started to fight back pulling her towards the house.Then came the painful sting on my ears which made my eyes pop out. I saw my Mom standing there in her Kali avatar. There was never a happier sight for me. Mom... I looked back, the rag picker stood a few feet back with the same mysterious smile on her face. She said something to Mom and went back to the heap of wood she had collected.

I got scolded all the way back to the house. It never sounded sweeter. Only I knew of the narrow escape I had. As for the cocoa plantation , never again. Danger lurks even there.

THIS IS A PARTIAL WORK OF FICTION

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I forgot to say , Thank You!

2009-06-02T18:45:00.009+05:30

Photo By h-k-d

The night was new. I walked out of the air conditioned hotel lobby. A blast of hot air caught my face.The air was annoyingly warm. I ran a hand through my hair as I waited admist the shimmering lights of Chennai's traffic for an auto. Chennai - the city where you get ripped by the autowallah's, fried by the sun and interrogated by foriegners. But I was happy. The interrogation was a success and I had been granted a Visa to the USA.

I paid the auto wallah 80 rupees for a 50 Rs. ride and finally arrived at the train station. I found him at the station waiting for me. We had a lot of laughs and shared the latest gossip of old batch mates from college.The clock tower at the station seemed not amused at our happiness. It didn't even bother to stop time for us. We parted again, sure that the next meeting was a long time to come.At the stroke of 10 the train started moving. Just half an hour late of schedule.

I located my berth in the three tier AC compartment. God was Cruel. No girls, again !!

I shared space with two guys and an elderly couple. One of the guys was a software engineer, I guessed as I saw the laptop bag. The other guy started a conversation with me. He was a soldier going to Bangalore for NSG commando training. We had a small talk going till he got a call from home. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation. It was about how thin he had gotten for his pants, how tall his sister had got and about the dinner they were having. I dusted up old memories off cobwebs and laid them before me. Nowadays I run out of topics to talk to mom, the only topic is how much my pant size had increased owing to the software belly.

I noticed the old lady in front of me smiling as well. What would she have been thinking? The calls from her son who is a soul lost software engineer in Bangalore now? I don't know. I didn't ask. I just know we were both glad to have eavesdropped on the conversation.

I don't know what could have made me pay attention to the two uninteresting old people before me. It was some kind of a strong passion they had that made me look up with curiosity. A few minutes of watching them and I felt I had seen magic. That was the most grateful moment I had that day, this year or may be in years to come. It made me change my perspective. I watched the old man as he gently prepared the bed for his wife, folding the blanket at the edges so that she wouldn't feel the cold. He took out her medicines and gave her water. He took out her sandals from beneath the berth. He did everything for her and she didn't even need to utter a word during the course of that very long 10 minutes. I was amazed. I wanted to feel what it would feel like to be the old man. How it would feel to grow old together. To experience the happiness and affection he is enjoying. It made me want to live that long; one thought I had dismissed long ago. I used to think I wouldn't want to see myself old. That 10 minutes had changed everything.

The night had grown old. A blast of cold air struck me from the vent above as I lay down to sleep. Some moments which made me smile. Some, I won't forget for a long time.

link : read about kittu's experience on train. some people have all the luck.

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Status :been doing a lot of travel lately- weddings, treks, outings..
Went on an awesome trek to saurkundi pass. the photos page is updated with pics.

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All I Wanted To Know !

2009-02-20T15:59:00.007+05:30

[Photo By : Midiman]

Being an inquisitive 9 year old, I was always confused about the concept of heaven and hell. If both existed why couldn't we see it? How will I know in advance where I will go? And can we come back to earth if we want to sometimes, like Mahabali does once in a year Or is that only for privileged persons and VVIPs? I knew a person who had the answer for it all, Ammoomma. She knew everything. She knew how Vamanan had killed Mahabali. So logically she ought to know how it was at hell and heaven. So I decided to ask the knowledgeable one.

Ammomma was sitting on the portico singing her bhajans as she always does in the evening. There was a light breeze outside. The hibiscus leaves rustled. Its flowers had just been sacrificed in the puja room.The light jasmine fragrance of burning incense floated in the air. I went and laid my head on Ammoomma's lap.

'Ammomme... Ammmomme... Ee swargavum narakvum evideya?' (where is heaven and hell?) 'Where will I go when I die?'

'So Appumon, wants to hear about heaven and hell. Let me tell you a story',

And she started telling a fable about the man who lived without hurting a living thing in his life. But he was not admitted in heaven because of his arrogance and bad boy attitude. She told me that the heavens where in the sky very far away from what our eyes could see and that hell was deep underground.

'Wow!! like I didn't know that before', I thought. Just wasted my time asking her. I should find out myself.

Finally after hours of thinking. I came upon a great plan. I will die and then I will know where I will go. Then I will enter into a pact with the Gatekeeper and get a parole to earth every now and then. So firmly focusing on the idea. I decided to die.The hard part was how to die. I didn't want it to be painful.

Lorry - unchecked (no body left if I want to come back on parole),

hanging - unchecked (won't look good when photo comes),

Vein Cutting- No (Out of fashion);

Yes, that's it! I will drown myself. I will be taking a bath and dying at the same time. And drinking water has not been painful so far and thus I will have a great death.

So I decided to die when father was bathing, mom was cleaning the kitchen and ammomma was snoring. And the place where I drown, will be our fish pond. I has fallen into it accidentally three years back and had almost drowned and my Dad had saved me. I was still afraid of the place that I never used to go near it.

The time at last dawned when father was bathing, mom was cleaning the kitchen and amoomma was snoring. I made way quietly outside. I made sure I walked out of the lights so that nobody saw me (thank god for spy movies). I reached the edge of the pond. Only eerie silence accompanied me.

Suddenly a sound came from behind. My heart jumped into my mouth. I was convinced that it was a aathma of some poor chap who had drowned her earlier. I turned back. A big mean frog was sitting there watching me with mean, evil eyes. I took a stone and threw at it with the accuracy of Agarkar's attempt at the wickets. The stone bounced off the ground, leaving the frog unhurt and more importantly he was mad.

The frog jumped towards me and sat on my leg...

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH', CROACK.. CROACK... SPLASH... BLUM...

I expected the gloominess to settle soon. That's when I realized I could breathe under water. I opened my eyes and saw that I was standing with the water till my chest. Sure I had grown fast in three years and I had not considered my rate of growth over time. Darn .. I was always bad at maths.

I could see the damn frog swimming to the shore. @##$@#$%$% FROG

I climbed out of the pond and decide to end my expeditions for the night. I limped to the house, as I had hurt my leg on a rock while falling. I entered the nice clean house with white flooring, drenched in water , mud on my feet and lilies on my head.

At first sight Mom got afraid on seeing me and let out a faint scream. After my reassurance she sat down. By the time Dad had come down and Ammomma was standing there in shock.

Dad finally asked me what had happened after a few moments of deadly silence. I opened my mouth to say that I had gone to die, when my super intelligent brain interrupted the conversation considering all the factors and deciding that I would be grounded for life if I said so.

The tongue automatically twisted the other way and said, 'I got afraid when a frog jumped at me and I fell into the pond'. My Face put on the crying, innocent expression.

The expression didn't have any effect on Mom. She pinched me hard on my arm. 'Aaaaaaaaa...', I went on like a broken CD player. The house was filled with my song and Mom had gone all guns blazing as to who told me to go to the pond at this time.

It was good that Dad thought I have had enough for one day and broke the connection between my Moms fingers and my throbbing arm. Mom didn't allow me into the room. I had to take bath in the tap outside the house in the cold, with a twitching arm and an injured leg.

Next morning I woke up with a cold. The good thing was that I didn't have to go to school and I got enough time to think over the dying thing. Dying was never a bright idea, I finally decided. I would never be able to taste these pazhampori's (banana bajji) that Mom makes if I die. I had got my reason. And the confusion over heaven and hell can wait for another 80 years or so. :)

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A Final Good-Bye

2009-01-16T11:28:00.002+05:30

The rain had passed. The air was filled with sweet music. The music of water drops falling into puddles. It was on such a day 4 years back that I had lost Sophie. If only she was here with me. My heart began filling with heaviness. My eyes blurred. The heaviness was a sleep inducer. I would soon become tired and fall asleep. My ears received the sounds of outside as though it was a healer. It was like nature was sympathizing with me.

I felt a palm on my hands. A gentle voice called me. 'Appacha..'. I could be dreaming. I opened my eyes and saw my son looking at me with gentle eyes. The tears came back. Tears, a companion all along the way, in your sorrows and joys.

'My Son, I thought you wouldn't come this year. I didn't see any letters, i thought...'
'Appacha, how can I forget. You know how hard it is for me to leave you alone here'.
I was so happy, the heaviness i felt before was gone.
'Where are the kids?', i asked
'They are not coming...', he said with a tinge of sadness in his words.' I came to take you with me appacha.. Whatever you say i am not going to leave you alone here...'
I was tired, I was missing my family. May be it is time for me to stop being lonely and go with my son. He loves me a lot. I shouldn't let him down.
'Who told I am going to ask a excuse? I am coming with you.' , I said my heart filling with all those nice feelings you get when you are happy and excited.
' I will come back tomorrow morning Appacha... I have some more things to sort out before we leave here.'

He hugged me as he had never before. I hugged him as though it was the first day that I had laid my eyes on him. I looked back as he left. I didn't feel the heaviness anymore. It was like I was free from all burden. I waited for the next day in anticipation. I packed all those things I thought was important.I couldn't sleep well that night. I got up early and waited for him.

He came as promised. We visited Sophie's resting place. I made of cup of tea for him. Then I lighted a candle in front of Virgin Mary's Idol as we waited to leave.

A new day dawned on the little village. The rain still remained to give the nostalgic effect of the yesteryears. The green paddy fields and the occasional flock of birds flying for shelter. The air filled with the smell of the soil. Everything was perfect except for the news entrusted with James and Annamma. They walked under a single umbrella holding each other. Neither of them were able to accept it till now. Their childhood friend John had met with an accident in the United States and had lost the battle for his life after one day.They were among the few people who had been close to John and his family. They had to deliver the bad news.

They approached the house where John's father led a lonely life. He had been stubborn with John on this matter. He couldn't even think of leaving his house and his village where all his memories resided. James and Anaamma used to come and give him company in some of the evenings. But today they carried a bad news. They were not sure how to break it to him.They stood on the steps and looked at each other. James nodded firmly, took hold of Annamma's hand and knocked on the door.

'Appacha...', they called. They all called him Appacha. The door was open. They went in. They saw a candle flickering before the idol of the Virgin. Two cups of tea on the teapoy and appachan reclining peacefully on the arm chair. James didn't want to break the peace in the room.

' Appacha..', He gently called. 'Appacha..', he called more firmily. Still he didnt get any reponse.. Annamma was about to break into tears.

I woke up hearing my name called. It was Jameskutty. Johnny's friend.
'He came to take me..'.
' Who Appacha.. ?' asked James
'Johnny, who else? you didn't see him? He was here. I must have dozed off. Don't tell me he hasn't come to meet you. He wouldn't have got time. He was running around with all the work to take me with him.'
Annamma started crying. James couldn't control her.
' Is something wrong Jameskutty? '.
James was silent for a moment. It seemed like he was mustering up all his courage to tell me something.
'Appacha.. There is some really bad news. John had an accident and succumbed to his wounds today morning.'
I didn't believe one bit of what James said. Making fun of me like this.
' I know you planned this with Johnnykutty.. you brats... same as old days eh.. Still childish..'
'No Appacha.. You have to believe us.' James told me.

It was not possible for him to die. He hadn't taken me with him. He will come back.
'Appacha.. Susie and the children will arrive tomorrow with the body. We will do all arrangements for the funeral.'

'So you are not joking... you are not joking... How could he leave me alone?'

I was lonely again. As i had been before. Sophie and Johnny gone. My grandchildren the only reason i can give for my existence. I will go back to my lonely life again. No more letters. No more yearning of what good news he has to say.

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House No.5, Palace Gardens

2008-12-20T05:02:00.003+05:30

7th October 2008, A Suburb in Kerala

'Chechi, you should be really careful. The stars don't favor those who live in this house.', Saraswati said as she escorted Anita through the garden.
'What do you do, Chechi?'
' I am a writer, Saraswati.'
' Do you write news in the newspapers?'
' No, I write books, novels..'
'You write stories,Chechi?', Saraswati asked with amazement.
'Yes I do Sarasu'
' then someday if you are free, can you come home and tell munna some stories. He always complains that i do not know any stories. How would I know? I haven't even gone to school..'
'Sure sarasu, one day for sure.', Anita said as Saraswati opened the door.

'how long are you going to stay here ?'
'I wanted a place to write my next novel. After it is complete I might leave.'
'Are you married?'
'You sure do have a lot of questions. Let me sit down for a while and settle down in this house. Then I will answer all the questions you have.' , Anita said suppressing a laugh.

Anita stood at the balcony, Saraswati's question still ringing in her ears. 'Are you married?'.... It has been just over three months since her divorce from Naren. An arranged marriage. A perfect couple - according to her parents. Everything was fine for two years. Suddenly things started to take a bad shape between them. Naren started accusing her of being mad. Depressed, yes. But mad! He was taking things overboard. She had been having a bad run with her writing, with the newspaper turning down her column , her last book being a total failure and critics accusing her of using a copied idea. The perfect couple could not hold on much longer. Sooner than she thought , Naren moved for divorce. She looked at the wedding ring which she still used to wear. Tears formed in her eyes. But she was not going to break down. The tears vanished as they had come. Her eyes transformed from a sad set to that of determination.

Her career was in a bad state and her life even worse. That was when she got hold of a story from a casual talk she had with a friend. It happened to a friend of a friend in a suburb in Thiruvanathapuram. She and her family had been staying there for over a couple of years, when one day the worst tragedy occurred to them. Her husband fell into a hole dug up for a well. The soil on the sides collapsed burying him underneath. Since then rumours of the haunted house had spread. It seemed the previous two inhabitants had also died in strange circumstances. One of them had drowned in a swimming pool and the other who was in the air force, had died in a plane crash during a routine test flight.

The rumour was that a Sadhu had once come to the house when the owner was residing there. Overwhelmed by the owner’s hospitality he had given a warning to him for his good. He had predicted that the house had a curse on it and that the people staying in the house would die by the five elements. The owner being a pious man, took the advice and changed his house. He then gave it out for rent. According to the Sadhu's prediction, only two elements remained now : fire and space.

Anita sensed a story there. She had everything, even a ending, which she got the instant she heard the story. Only the gaps and details in the story remained. And here she was at House No. 5, Palace Gardens, in search of her story. She had hired the same maid who was there previously, Saraswati. She would be able to throw more light and of course she had a part to play in the story.

Anita's next few weeks were spent with the locals. In the evenings she used to go to the beach to view the sunset. It gave her immense pleasure, relief, and confidence. In the nights she would collect together all the information she gathered and put together her story.

She hadn't found anything unusual about the house herself. It was a splendid house. She had began to like it. But she couldn't stay there for long; her novel was approaching its end. Only one person's account was remaining, Chadran , the owner. After that she could mail the script to her publisher. Finally the last sunday of November was near.

December 8th 2008

“Her book is due release today and has blown away all records according to the publishers.
The police are confirming that it is an accident. Sources have also confirmed that the cause of the explosion was a leakage in cooking gas. Although nothing much of a body could be recovered,her wedding ring and other jewellery were recovered from the site. Police are investigating the missing of the maid, Sarawati. Chandran the owner of the house had testified earlier that Anita had been at his house last Sunday and that she was very concerned about Saraswati's mental health. Ramachandran was told by Anita that Saraswati had started mumblings strange things and did not seem herself during most of the time. The Police had made a statement yesterday that they had got no link connecting Sarawati to the event.... " , the TV blared in the hotel suite .

"Goood... But not a perfect ending as in my book!! '
"I wouldn't be getting any royalties but I bet my book will be a hit. That should silence those critics...", Anita felt relief. It had been months since she had the feeling of relief and contentment.
'Forgive me Sarawati, but I had to do it.'

August 20th, 2009

'I am a scientist, I don't believe in such superstitions.'
'Just a good word to be careful around here sir.’ said the taxi driver as he drove away leaving Rajeev at the gates. Rajeev settled in quickly. He loved the house. He had bought the house for cheap for a superstitious owner who was desperate to sell it off.

After a week Rajeev became acquainted to the less than brave comments of his friends and neighbors. He was a scientist after all and he didn’t care. He stood at the balcony feeling the light breeze hitting his face. He had taken couple of weeks off. A much needed vacation after the long tiring work on Chandrayaan, India's first moon mission. The phone's ring broke the peace in the house. Rajeev picked it up.
'Hello, Rajeev'
'Yes'
'This is George here..'
'Yes sir'
'There is great news. You have been selected for India's first man mission for the moon....'

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A Test Of Humanity

2008-11-14T15:00:00.002+05:30

'WALK', the traffic signal blinked. Harvey made way across the road amidst a large group of pedestrians. He still hadn't found a prospect. He observed everyone whom he was to pass from a distance. Any chance of a coat bulging a little more than it should and he had found his customer. The city was his hunting ground. Especially near the big malls. He found an unsuspecting shopper every once in a while to keep at bay his hunger for a few months. He certainly was talented. He had an uncanny knack of getting the right person. But he could not pull it off three months back with the old man. That guy had been too alert. He did not even get a chance to make a run for it. Caught red handed and sent to prison for three months for petty theft, it had just been two days since he started sleeping in his own bed. A relief from the stench of the prison cell.

He noticed the eyes following him. But he kept his cool. He was way too experienced. Harvey knew how to avoid the questioning eyes of the uniformed men he came across. But still, he couldn't pull the last one off.

It was not long before Harvey found his customer. The man was coming out of the Frazer, a favorite shopping arena of the high middle class. He stopped at the steps leading down to the road as if unable to arrive at where he should go next. A middle aged man. He sported a two day long beard. He was very tall. At least a good two inches taller than Harvey who stood at 6 feet. The man seemed disturbed, deep in thought. He wore a brown hat and a long brown coat. Harvey's eyes changed focus from his face to his bulging coat pocket. 'That should last a month or two.'

Harvey made his way through the thick rush of shoppers and college students. The man in the brown coat also started moving; towards Harvey. The distance between them was reducing. Harvey could smell the money.

It was in front of the Coffee shop that Michael bumped into the black man. His hat fell off onto the pavement.

'Oh! I am so sorry ', the black man expressed his apology as he picked up Michael's Hat, brushed it and handed it back to him. Michael had far more things to worry about. He gave a quick nod and carried on towards the end of the street.

If one looked at Harvey now, he could see the gleam in his eyes of a job well done. The look of a salesman who sold his product after months of disappointments. Harvey was happy but not without fear. He feared he might not get away this time too. He forced a look down the road to see if the man in brown coat had noticed. He hadn't. He was walking to the end of the street with no idea whatsoever as to what happened. It didn't take much time for Harvey to find a deserted place in the alley between the coffee shop and the Frazer.

He opened the bag, hands shivering in anticipation and excitement. The bag was heavier than he thought.

It revealed two bundles of crispy green notes. He let out a silent whistle, looking at the treasure in his hands.

He took out the cash and was about to discard the bag when a note fell out of it. Out of curiosity he picked it put and read it. It was a medical prescription for a Mrs. Scholes. It contained many things in illegible handwriting, obviously from a doctor at the city hospital. A pang of guilt came over him.

What if, the man in the brown coat was looking around for Drug stores? There were a couple of them in the Frazer. What if all these drugs cost a lot of money ? What if he couldn't buy the medicines in time?

It was a test of humanity . Harvey was certainly not going to put a poor woman's life at risk because of his selfishness. He looked down the street. He found the man in the brown coat without much difficulty. He was walking in the direction of the Officer. Had he found out? Harvey decided to leave the bag there and disappear, should the man talk to the Officer. But he didn't approach the cop instead he took a sharp right into the supermarket at the end of the street. He wasn't still aware.

'Mr.Scholes ', Harvey called. The man in the brown coat was standing at the counter.
Harvey went near him and called again. This time he turned. He recognized the bag that Harvey was holding.
'It fell off when we bumped into each other.', Harvey told.
'Thank you so much. Any other person wouldn't have given it back, seeing the amount of money in it.
Thank you so much Mr....'
'Harvey, that's the name'
'Thank you so much Harvey'
'Not a problem. Be more careful in the future.', Harvey called out and left the supermarket.
Harvey was on the street now. The same place where he started. But this time he was a much more happy man. Time to find another customer.

Michael looked out of the supermarket window. It was time to leave now. He couldn't believe he had lost that money. Anyway now he had it back. He came out of the shop and took a road which led him away from the rush of the city. Another Two miles of brisk walking brought Michael to a Shabby old apartment building. He knocked on the door of Apartment D6. The door was opened by a young guy who looked like he was high up on booze and drugs.
'Mike you are back. How was the day? Any luck ?'.
'Loads of luck Joey, Loads...'
Michael threw the bag to Joey who had found a place on the couch as he walked to the bar to fix a drink. Joey eyes nearly came out of their sockets when he saw the money.
'Where did you pull this shit off?'
'Some guy in the Frazer. And would you believe I lost the money and got it back all because of Officer Smith.'
'Smith? How did that sleazy cop help you!!!?', Joey asked bewildered

' In the Frazer , i thought I had been caught, so i was moving quickly until some dumb Black guy bumped into me. I thought I had made it when i Saw Officer Smith standing at the end of the street. There was no way he would see me and not guess something was going on'.
'So i went into Mason's till he left. It was then the black guy came in and returned the bag saying I had dropped it. I waited till Officer Smith left and here I am, a rich guy.'

'But I don't understand one thing. The black guy kept calling me Mr. Scholes. I wouldn't have known he was calling me unless I saw that bag in his hand.'

'No wonder he called you Mr.Scholes, take a look at this,' Joey exclaimed and pushed the medical prescription to Mike.
'Well, that explains it, I think.'
Mike sipped the brandy and cherished the sensation it brought on his body. He was beaming at his success.

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A Fatal Sin

2008-10-08T14:00:00.001+05:30

The heart stops at moments like these. Words fail to form.

It was a magical moment , when the only thing he had waited for so long came upon him. He knew, she was the one for him. She would decide his fate and she would be with him till death. He had a fear of what was about to happen but also a relief knowing what would become of him after. They had but one thing in common. Both of them had a destination to reach and both were running out of time.

He watched as she came closer clad in blue and white. She approached quickly yet gracefully. He could feel the rhythm of her steps. He could hear her singing from the distance.A lullaby which would put him to sleep. He lie there; waiting in anticipation; butterflies in his stomach.

The time had come. He closed his eyes and let her take him.

They say, at moments like these your entire past flashes before you. May be it did for him. Did he feel remorse? We will never know.

As for her, she had none. She had seen many a person before her wanting her to take their lives. Something which was not in her control. She still had to reach her destination and she was running out of time. She kept on moving on the iron rails, past hills, lakes, plains and rivers , puffing and tooting....

He wanted a Star...

2008-09-28T22:57:00.002+05:30

There was once a boy who dreamt of the day when he could carry a star enclosed in his palms. He would stare out of the window on a starry night, watch with admiration those beautiful twinkling dots and pray to god.

' Oh God! you have so many of them cute little lights with you, why don't you give one to me. I always give my lil sis whatever i have.'

His Dad would come to him smile and say , ' you work hard my boy, study hard and God will give you not one light but many in your palms.'

Twenty years have passed since such a night and Hari is a man who literally plucks money off trees. He has the stars in his palms and around him. But like his Dad said it was not God who gave it to him, but a friend. His friend had given him - the magic powder which made all worries go away and which made him swim among the stars and caress them in his palm as much as he liked.

Another 10 years and fate sees Hari, laid down , two cotton balls in his nose, legs lied together. And with a wife and two children shedding tears by his side. So much for his starry dreams.

Say No to Drugs. They Kill not only you but also your family.

If you haven't seen the movie Requiem For A Dream , I suggest you see it now. And i bet you won't even think about drugs in your next 100 lives.

Fraud The People, Buy The People and Off With the People

2008-08-28T16:49:00.010+05:30

"... Let the seas divide and devour me, if corruption ever raises its hood in my constituency. I will not make any false promises here. I say only what I can do and I will do whatever I have said. On this - to you,to each and everyone of you.. who stand here tired of conspiracies,and scandals and corruption and who are ill fated to be at the receiving end.. - i give my word. Remember that i was one of you , I know the pains. Most of you know how my family has suffered. It is that and the plight of my fellow beings in this constituency that made me step forward. Let us join hands and fight together. Lets say together - In this free country, we want our real freedom'.

"We want our freedom.. we want our freedom", the crowd chanted with increasing amplitude.The chants were followed by a rounds of applause and slogans. The speaker stepped down of the podium and made his way to the seat. The applause failed to die down. He stood up and waved. Cacophony. Slogans and applause. It died down after a span of 20 minutes. A large part of the crowd didn't stay there though.

They split in four different ways shouting slogans.It was rather evident Premadasan was gaining support all around.

He was never a politician. But he was a passionate social worker. You could see the plaque

PREMADASAN G.

ADVOCATE

M.A. L.L.B. at the gates to his house.

On weekdays he would spend his time studying cases and helping poor people get a proper advocate.He would spend his time on weekend to help out the cottage industry workers issues. He would also visit the orphanage run by the church every fortnight. His help was sought by all. He was one person anyone could approach for help.

Everything turned for the worse when he was settling an issue for cottage industry workers. He and the workers union chairman had a rough argument. Everybody remembered Premadasan coming out shouting that all are corrupt and that no one worked for the people anymore. He was hit by a series of unfortunate events after that. His son was refused a Job at a factory on the grounds that the union did not support it. At another place he got the job but they asked for a huge security amount. Premadasan couldn't accommodate so much money. He cursed his meager background. He was determined to do something about what had happened. He wanted to change everything.

He was 50, so that made it him eligible for politics in Kerala and for standing as a candidate. He eyed the next elections. He had worked tirelessly from that moment on. Gaining the trust of all people and ended up having a huge fan following which would embarrass Mammooty. (Of course no where near Mohanlal's Fan following).

Then the moment came. It was a bi election just after the CPA 's(the ruling party) reputation was hampered by a sting operation. You know the kind all the TV channels do nowadays. And the icing on the cake was that the 95 year old M.L.A. who had adorned the seat from his constituency died.

Here was the chance. All the odds were for him. If even if he misfired,he would still hit a plane down. There was no chance of him missing it.

Sitting on the stage made him feel special. He beamed. The valedictory speech was drowned by the noise of the crowd. He was happy everything was falling in place. All his hard work had paid off. In one week it was the election. Only the finishing touches of the campaign remained. He had been bold enough not to take a party ticket and to stand as an independent. He sat there intoxicated by the sound of the crowd.

It was like a festival, the day he won. People had carried him on their shoulders from his house after the results were announced. He had won by a small margin. But he had won. He was sworn in as a member of the assembly. He got his small office.

The sting operation had its effect. And the ruling party losing one more seat, brought about a strong no confidence vote.

He was working on a request for construction of a new bridge in his constituency when they came in. He stood up , greeted them and asked them to take a seat.

"We know you are against their party. And you have every reason to be. It was because of them only that your son didn't get a job." The opposition leader said. "It would be in your and our best interest if you stood with us in this vote. We would even give you a Minister's Seat."

"You don't have to offer me a seat sir. I will do whatever is in the best interest of the people.

I wouldn't want to be guilty."

"So, I can be sure that you will be with us?"

Premadasan smiled. They shook hands and parted.

The phone rang after 5 minutes.

" Yes CM ji, they have left."

" Hahaha.."

"So I hope my Son will be in position before the vote. And that minister's seat you were talking about. Have you decided on it. As i told I want the Forest Ministry under me.... Everything comes at a price CM ji, at - a - price...."

Dead Destiny

2008-08-07T20:06:00.007+05:30

My legs are broken severely .They will be amputated .
I can't stand, without a helping hand, anymore.
Never, ever, will I be at the dining table with my family .
I will be confined to a cold damp corner of the attic .
I heard that is what people do with broken chairs .Woe is me !

A work of 55 fiction (Wikipedia) . I Tag anyone who reads this post and loves writing.Especially I Tag Chandan. Do leave a comment linking to your post if you take this tag.

Status: Sitting on the floor as all the chairs in my house are broken

Vantage Point

2008-07-21T00:00:00.002+05:30

'I'm sorry', he mumbled, brushing past one of the few pedestrians on the cobbled sidewalk. His each step was calculated and with precision at the exact time he was supposed to make it. Today was not as usual. He had to make it big. His target today was not the usual low life double agents. But someone big, bigger than he could imagine when assigned the task. It was the chance to prove himself and be there amongst the best; the top league. A difficult assignment on it own and that too in broad daylight. But, no worries here. He had everything planned out, perfect, no errors. He was confident.

He rounded a corner. Just a couple of blocks and he would be there at the Town Hall. The Ambassadors big speech and one move of the finger to finish it all; and he would escape unscathed. Cage smiled to himself. He walked briskly, yet steadily. He was after all a seasoned assassin.

WhiteSnake kept low, stepping into alleyways and occasionally pausing to stare at the shop windows. She had Cage in view. She couldn't lose him. She had to take him out quietly without arousing suspicion. She knew Cage and his methods. That was why they had picked her. She had tried to talk her way out of this but they had ways to persuade her. She carried a bag with her. Something heavy. It was difficult to follow Cage without getting noticed. Owing to the few people on the streets and the keen eyes of Cage.

By the time he reached the Town Hall, people had crowded the entrance. He was not worried as he knew another way in. The Ambassador had not yet arrived. He waited outside. He looked around casually. He froze. Something or rather someone had caught his eye. A familiar face some distance back on the opposite side of the street.

WhiteSnake knew she had been spotted. She needed to act before Cage realized he was targeted. She got into an alleyway and up the stairs of an unusually distorted building. She reached the top. This would do. She had the perfect Vantage Point. She opened her bag and drew out the Sniper and adjusted the view. She had Cage right where she wanted; at the center of the crosshair.

Although he had seen the face only for a moment he was dead sure. He knew the face. A second look around didn't give any leads. She was gone by then. He wasn't sure his mission had been compromised. May be it was just a coincidence. But he thought against that. The two of them at the same place at the same time, wouldn't be a coincidence. That was how they had worked, away from each other. Cage began to contemplate his next move. He was the hunted now and in perfect view of the hunter. He had to act fast and think faster. He moved on from the town hall and started walking. He glanced back for any sign of her. None.

Suddenly he felt numb. He couldn't take a step more before he fell on the pavement with a THUD.

WhiteSnake had taken her aim. She was about to shoot when she saw Cage falling. Even before the thought reached her brain, she felt a strong kick from behind. She fell down the building and onto the pavement.

Kannan watched as the whole world crumbled before his eyes. It was not a battle any more. The war had begun. 'SHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAMMM , I am going to kill you.....' , Kannan got up and ran after his brother. The G.I. Joe figures and Lego blocks scattered every where.

Cage lay there, his mission failed. It will take weeks of planning before he can complete the assignment.

--Rahul AKA Frozenmist [;)]

--With special Thanks to Tony for the review :)

Kakkathiamma

2008-07-14T18:33:00.015+05:30

Darkness was falling. He quickened his steps. He had to reach the valley before nightfall. Falling prey to some hungry carnivore was not the best of ideas. Shridharan Mashu ( Mashu means master in Malayalam) checked the time on his watch and also the sky.6:30, the twilight was fading, and that was bad. It would be dark in a matter of minutes, as it happens in this part of the country. The old battered torch was of no use in this dense forest.

Shridharan Mashu was a respected man in the village. Still a bachelor, and in his early thirties (Sweet 30's as he would call it); he was a teacher in the village in Wayanad. He taught at the only L.P. school in the village. He was happy that at least there was a school now. During his days, he had to walk 20 miles to the nearest school where he studied. He was perhaps till now the only person in the village who had gone to college. Being the son of the forest officer he was more privileged than the other children of the tribal village. After his Father had died in service, he had stayed on in the village as a teacher. His younger brother had got a job in the forest department and he had moved on to another range. During his college days he had read extensively the work of Marx .Though not inclined to any political party, he had circulated socialist ideas amongst the tribes. They were all ears and their eyes filled with admiration for him whenever he spoke. He was shunned by most of the tribesmen for his ideas, but they still respected him; because he knew more of the unseen world.

This day he was returning home after taking tuition for the Engineer Sir's daughter. The school had closed for the summer vacations, when the Engineer Sir came and requested him to help his daughter in maths. Mashu wanted to keep himself busy so he agreed after a lot of cajoling from Engineer sir.

He knew the forest well, but after night fall even the most experienced tribesman will find it difficult to find his way out. He had been walking for half an hour now. If he had been on the right path he would have reached the village 10 minutes back. He knew it was futile to continue again and that would result in going into more unfamiliar territory. His only protection was to find an Erumaadam (Tree house built by hunters) and take refuge in it and resume his journey at dawn.

He climbed a nearby tree to see if he could find anything in the diminishing light. He saw a light up ahead. "Ah!! Civilization, at least I am not lost." He thought. The light was stationary and that meant it was a house and not someone who had lost his way as he had. Vanquishing the shrubs in the path with his mighty torch, he followed the light. He cried out aloud, but couldn't get a response back. He was not even sure his voice reached there.

The hut stood in a small clearing. The source of light was a ranthal (kerosene lamp) at the window. He went forward and banged on the bamboo door. No response. Twice and thrice he tried. He went around the house. No sign of life. Just as he was about to push open the door, it opened.

She would be at least 70 odd years old, the lady. She was stooping. She would have been to his shoulder level if she stood upright. Age was showing on her face and hands.

Wrinkled and loose skin on her neck and hands. Her ears were sagged with holes, the size of bangles, where once ear rings had adorned. He wondered what she might be doing here, so far in the woods. And by the looks of it she appeared to be alone.

He suddenly found that she fit woman in the story, he had heard in his childhood. In fact, any child in the village heard from their parents; the story of the old woman in the forest who stole children and ate them for dinner. He was too old for that story now and smiled unknowingly; what all parents cook up to keep their child safe and from going into the woods.

She stared at him for moment through the cold grey eyes. He met her eyes. She seemed startled by the presence of the stranger.

‘Amma’, he called her. 'Do you know how to join back to the path to the village?'

She nodded. She raised her hand halfway, as to show him the way, but brought it down.

'The woods are dangerous in this time of the day', she warned. Her sparingly cultivated teeth showed. What was left had the dark brown colour of chewing betel leaves.

'Then can I stay here till dawn, Amma?' he asked. 'That is, if it is not a burden for you'.

She looked bewildered. Had he asked something wrong, Mashu thought.

She looked down, and said 'If you want to stay here you are most welcome. But let me

remind you no one likes to come here to stay, lest talk with me.'

That was a strange remark. 'It is no problem with me Amma, I will stay here. And I won't cause any disturbance also, I promise Amma'. He smiled. He could see her gaze shifting when he called her Amma.

The hut was a single room. Except for a charcoal stove in one corner, it was more or less empty. A mat made of palm leaves was rolled up against the wall and a few utensils made of clay were near the stove. The stove was cold. A small pile of dry branches decorated another side of the wall, to indicate cooking was done once in a while. She ushered him inside, rolled out the mat and gestured him to sit. As a polite gesture Mashu stood there until Amma had sat down. She sat with great difficulty. But after resting her legs she seemed relieved. Mashu sat down on one side of the mat.

She seemed to be in her own world, staring at the wall, as though it was a screen with a movie playing. Mashu decided to break the silence.

‘Amma , what is your name?’ . She was startled and looked around to see who had disturbed her from her dream. She saw him sitting there and remembered she was not alone.

‘Amma , what is your name?’ Mashu repeated softly. She started laughing loudly, baring her brown teeth. She stopped suddenly.

‘Kakkathiamma is what they call me, the children. They run away on seeing me’. He face turned sad. ‘They run away on seeing me. They think I will hurt them, don’t they?’.

She looked at Mashu, her grey eyes had a glint in them. Mashu had no answer. He wanted to change the topic. But he said, ‘No, they don’t . Who would run away from a sweet lady like you?’

‘They have heard stories. They know they aren’t supposed to come near me. ’ she retorted.

She continued on, ‘I fell in love with a man, an outsider, was it my mistake. They stamped me an outcast. They shunned me from the tribe.’ She continued as though there were many things she had to say, ‘I married the man, we moved off far away from the tribe.’ She stopped. Tears had started flowing from her eyes. They shone on her skin like beads. Mashu understood her and the loneliness over the years. ‘Now I am all alone, couldn’t bear a child, my husband taken by the forest gods and I live because I cannot die.’

He placed a gentle hand on her palm, rubbed it. She clutched it firmly. She looked into his eyes. He could see not coldness in them now. Only the remains of a youth trampled down by customs.

‘Thank you son, for listening to me. It’s been long since anyone….’

‘Say , did you have dinner.’ . Time had well passed 8:30 now. The question made Mashu’s Stomach grumble. Kakkathiamma stood up and picked up a pot. She approached him with a fistful of berries and handed it over. Mashu and Amma ate together. After the dinner, Kakkathiamma, offered him the mat to sleep on. Mashu declined . He helped her settle down and laid down to sleep. Kakkathiamma had left a deep effect on him.

The sun rose as always. Light poured into the house through the lone window.

Shridharan Mashu rubbed his eyes, stifled a yawn and sat upright. The cottage looked as he had entered it yesterday. The mat was rolled up. The only scenic change was the water boiling on the stove and the billowing smoke that rose out through the window throwing patterns of sunlight in the smoke. He stretched his legs and walked out through the open door. His eyes were searching for Kakkathiamma. She was no where to be seen.

He waited in the doorstep for a few minutes before calling out again ‘Amma, where are you?’.

He walked around the house and followed a path he saw.

He heard the sound of crackling of leaves in front. He advanced towards it, and saw a person collecting wood . He had a closer look. It was not Kakkathiamma. It was a tribesman he knew, Muthu. He called out to him. Muthu spotted Mashu standing there and rushed to him. Mashu told Muthu how he had got lost and about Kakkathiamma. Muthu’s eyes widened. Mashu asked him to help find her. Muthu was reluctant at first. Mashu convinced him to do a favour and that no body would know about it. Finally Muthu agreed. They traced back to the hut and started searching the surroundings. No signs still. Suddenly Mashu heard Muthu’s shout. He raced to the grove of cocoa trees.

She was lying there face down, a clutch of cocoa leaves in her hand. Mashu picked her up and asked for Muthu’s help. Muthu took a step back, ran and vanished into the woods.

Mashu took her in both his arms and edged forward. He reached the hut and laid her down in front of it. Checked her pulse. It was feeble. Hearing a sound he looked back and saw Muthu carrying a stretcher made of wines and bamboo.

Mashu helped Muthu to get her on the stretcher. Muthu led the way and in minutes the forest path was clear. A jeep came around the path loaded with herbs to the local market. Mashu stopped it and with Muthu’s help got Amma on the jeep.

Muthu stayed back and watched as Mashu and Kakkathi made way forward. Mashu completely understood and looked at Muthu with grateful eyes. Muthu smiled and went back into the forest.

Doctors and nurses had tried their best at the Clinic. There was not enough time to take her to the nearest hospital. She opened her eyes for a brief moment. She held his hand. ‘God Bless you son’ . He could feel the warmth of her body receding. A life devoured by the ghosts of her past.

Six years have passed since that day. He couldn’t blame the tribesmen, this was how their tradition had survived over the years. Untouched by outsiders, their customs still lived on. And Kakkathiamma still lived on in the heart of Shridharan Mashu.

In these woods,

Live ghosts entrapped,

The ghosts of life,

That is past;

The ghosts of many,

Entwined, in destiny’s lap;

Heed your ears,

And you will hear,

Follow your eyes,

And you will see,

Free yourself,

And you’ll believe,

That the world beyond

Is nothing but an image of yours.

Of words, words and still words?!! - Crazy Phobias

2008-07-07T14:15:00.016+05:30

Phew!!! with to the core GRE and GMAT prep going on in the house its pretty difficult not to catch a word or two. For some days it was medical terms and shit they are hard to study and more hard to listen. My ear tried escaping those words but with the complexity of them and the pronunciation.. you have to hear them, man . Here is some word diet for you to chew on. After seeing that there are a good lot of words i don't know, i thought i will start with fear...phobias..These words really scare the shit out of me... There are some crazy phobias that you won't believe exists (Well at least I didn't!!).

[Photo by extremeezine]

Scolionophobia - The fear of school .I had it... I admit... If i had known about this then, it would have been a perfect excuse to skip school. How come they don't teach all these things at school??

666 Did u freak out now??? Then you have got the Fear Of 666. And they actually have a word for it : Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia . :)The number 666 or the Satan's Number really freaks out people. I wonder how they did at Maths. If they were asked 222*3 for an exam would they really scream their brains out???!!!

Vestiphobia : This is one kewl phobia . I know the kind of people having this-the bollywood hot chiks... oh!! and it means Fear of clothing.Nowadays you can't play a Hindi song on TV for Fear of Family.It also means poor husbands don't need to take their Vestiphobic wifes out for shopping.. :) Hoping for a Vestiphobic world!!! ;)

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia : Hahaa!!! It is not the fear of Hippopatamus... guess what !!! its the Fear of long words. And they couldn't make a longer word to define that.What in the hell? Anyone looking up on the name of their long word fear would shit in their pants reading this. How would anyone having fear of words speak at all?? They might act dumb and use those sign languages and plug their ears lest some words start drinking their blood.. Oooh!! Vampire Words...

Thats it from me on Phobias!! I will find better ,crazier words and post them for the ignorant lot like me.

Aaahhh...My boss is coming ... Bye bye for now...

I sure have "gettingsickonseeingtheboss"ophobia...

Location : Office, Bangalore

Time :Lunch time.. :)

--Rahul S. Nair

Data Collected from : http://phobialist.com/

Disclaimer : Image is obtained from the web and I don't claim any ownership for it.

We went , we saw and we were conquered....

2008-01-08T22:57:00.000+05:30

Day 1 : The Golden Sands Beckoned.....

The festive spirit of Christmas and New Year still lingering on... what better way to start a new year than the way a bunch of us did.The first weekend of new year and that too so truly amazing and memorable.It was a day when we decided to get the better of our New Year's "hangover" and do some exploration.It was a trek to Gokarna, a beach trek. What is so amazing in a stretch of sand with salt water all around???Well, read on.

Finishing our Friday evening chores early enough for catching the bus ride to the destination, we assembled at MTV.We started our journey after 8:30 p.m. much unaware of what lies in wait for the next day. After a light dinner and picking up Chetan on the way we were all set. Heres when disaster struck us... No not a punctured tire , not a bus break down nor losing the way but by our Sleepy Driver... He had to get sleep man, and so he slept for one and a half hours...And so we were late by more than that...Hopes of getting to Sharavathi River View point at sunrise was a faraway dream now.. Nevertheless we reached there at around 8:00 the next morning. And what a breathtaking view it was! Our cameras may not have captured all that beauty
but our eyescertainly did. The coil of sparkling water midst the misty mountains.

Refreshed by such natures beauty we followed the twisting ghat roads to reach the first planned stoppage point , the Bangalore circle(Honnavara)... The roads there led to Mangalore, to Gokarna and back to Bangalore. We had not planned the take the third road at least for another two days.After freshening up quickly and having breakfast, we set off; armed with cameras,water and some refreshments ;to
Haldipur beach a further 10 kms down the second road. Srivatsa called up Ravi who had already gone there before and got the route... Finally we reached Haldipur Beach.From then on its a different story.

At Haldipur we were greeted by the golden sands and the deep blue sea,the sound of waves and a light cool breeze.Even though i hail from Kerala where beaches are almost everywhere, this was some thing out of my imagination. A secluded and lovely beach. To complete the picture there was an island in the sea and also a small hill on the beach where vegetation was in plenty. Fishing boats stood aligned in the sand and I could see the sand being carried out by a gust of wind.And it did not end there. What a better sight than a dolphin's fin cutting through the waves. The dark blue shade of the dolphin's fin danced into and out of the waves. It was a sight to behold.

Our destination and the limitation of time forced us to move on. Such a pity i couldn't click in time.Crabs we walking fast on the beach. It was interesting to see them moving away and jumping into holes when we came near them. The sea caressed our feet's gently with frequent waves. Moving on we were met with a huge boulder's of black rock. A quick break there taking in the splashes of the seawater on the rocks, we climbed up a small hill and down onto another beach.

Here the vegetation was closeby. A few fishermen were pulling in the catch of the day. It was a short walk on the sand before We reached another set of rocks,more sharp and slippery to cross. The heat was getting on to us. Tiredness was increasing and were running short of water.
Finding our way on the rocks we moved on until there was a good deep gap between two rocks we couldn't cross. An alternate way was over a hill. It was steep with very less foot hold. MI 2 Style we climbed up until no more we could go further. A couple of kids on the top of the hill warned us and we slid down the grassy slopes to safety. Lo!! we found a way around the rocks. It lead to a small rocky enclosure,the sands there burying shells of mollusc's which may have been washed in during high tide.All water we had drained out by then. May be we could find it on the next beach at some house.

The next hill was a splendor. It was adorned with blond grass,black rocks and the clear blue sky as topping.

We came down it. Some road was under construction, may be for commercialization of the beach. There was red dust all around. The stretch of Kumta beach lay in front of us for almost 5 kms. We washed the red mud off our legs in the sea and moved on. We had to reach the end of the beach before high tide as we needed to cross , the place where the sea joined the river, on foot.

This walk was the best.We took in so many sights we had never seen before. Some of us spotted starfishes in the beach sand. We also saw squids or whatever it was called. Then another event caught our eye. An eagle was carrying a snake in it claws. Alas!! it dropped the reptile even before we could take a shot of the fight for survival.
There were sea gulls on the beach. Some where ready for take off as it was nearing the end of the day. Everyone of us were waiting to catch the sun set.
We reached the river at around 6:00. Wow!! crossing the sea. Me and Bharath went first. The water was almost till waist level. We reached the other bank safely. The others who were a bit late had to get drenched till their chest. But everyone were overwhelmed by the experience. We even went back into the water to enjoy a cool break. Then the sun began to shine less, now an orange globe, it began disappearing behind a hill. The sight was worth it and a perfect way to end the days adventures.

We retired at a Hotel in Kumta. My searing headache was soothed by every bit of food I ate and the food was also good, Roti and Channa.
We changed our plans for the next day. Tomorrow we would be heading to Yaana (by advise of a hotel staff) instead of Gokarna. We would leave by8:30 tomorrow.

Day 2 : The Caves of The Gods....

Yaana, a pilgrimage spot mostly was 42 kilometers way from Kumta. The nights sleep did very good. Everyone was up fresh and ready to go. Except for Sunith,poor guy had to stay back due to vomiting... The reasons to that we are not yet sure of why... ;)
We hit the road after 8:30 carrying with us idli and vada for lunch. The bus ride was made interesting by a round of truth or dare. At the end of which we are in serious doubts about Sunil.
Anyway we reached Yaana at 9:30. It was a 2 kms climb to the main rock. We spotted a huge rock sprouting out of the ground. We took some photographs and carried on wondering what we will see next. A few more steps and we could hear the gushing sound of water. In no time we found a stream. And that meant photo session.

Feeding our cams with some beautiful pics we continued on upward the hill. The visitors to the place was largely children on picnic and some people on pilgrimage. Walking along the path with the stream on one side and tall trees on the other, we spotted colorful butterflies, crossed small streams that flowed across the path, until we came to the first temple. Large number of people were praying there. From here we spotted the first rock formation jutting out into the sky.

We walked to the base of the rock. There was a temple inside and also a narrow cave from where one could hear cries of bats due to which we didn't enter. Not because we were afraid or anything, but why disturb those peaceful creatures.
The next stop was at an even more impressive rock formation. A temple dedicated to Shiva was there and we could hear bhajans. We left our footwear at a small shop there(Yeah! there was a shop) and went into the temple. In here the Gods were carved on the rock itself.
There were many people singing there. We left the temple to the caves above. It was like a huge wind tunnel. Cool breeze was coming out of the cave. We explored the huge cave. Bharath and me took a forest path and went round the rock. We walked for some time till no clear path could be found any more. Coming back we found that some of us had climbed up through an opening in the rock. We went there. All those who had gone had come back. So Bharath and Me started through the small opening. Bharath cut his leg and had to back off. I carried on under the guidance of the already enlightened ones. Squeezing through the hole, I found myself in an enclosure. I went forward from the directions given by the voices below in the cave. There was a small path cut through the rocks by frequently flowing water. I followed it to find a way out. I called out for Bharath to help me get down. I gave my cam to him when he came and i got out through a small opening. It was time for lunch when we got back to the shop. We ate the Idli and vada that we had carried. Then started down hill. We reached the bus at 3:00. As we had much time left we decided to spend some time by the stream and we started on an up the stream trek.

Ducking low branching and braving slippery rocks, we finally found a place to rest . Mine and Bharaths feet were sore we had commited the stupidity of walking downhill without shoes. The cold water was very soothing for the legs. Then came the episode of "Get The Splash Shot". Everyone was trying to get the photo of stone splashing in water. After a number of successful and not so successful tries we decided it was high time to return back to the bus.

We reached back to the hotel and packed our bags. On the way back we had a round of dumb c and truth AND dare(continuation). The weekend was over.
What a start to the new year , eh? We had food at Sagar.

We reached back to MTV at 6:00 on Monday morning. Everyone parted ways. Me and Srivatsa the CTO (Chief Trek Organizer, who did a superb job) ,left on bike. It was pretty cold and i was in t shirt and shorts.... brrrrrrrrr.....

The trek was organized by the MindTree Trekking Club. CTO was Srivatsa who did the job really well. Thanks to all the members of the trek who made it really memorable. Date 4th of Jan 2008-7th Jan 2008.

--RAHUL S. NAIR

Very Important Notice!!!

2007-11-12T16:59:00.002+05:30

My birthday is coming up and I am publishing a wish list...
You can buy me or do what ever you like in the list.. its left to you
My wish list :

pay off my credit card bill
M40-A3 sniper rifle
Be a target for practice
Pick me as a blind date(make sure its blind otherwise you will regret it the rest of your life. If its blind you don't know whom you are dating till the end. Brilliant right!!) and give me a SURPRISE!!! * Conditions Apply
Make me pay for all the pain I have caused you by sending me to Switzerland and freezing me to death. Come on I have done so much to you and I am giving you a brilliant idea.
Visit my blog everyday, even though it sucks big time!!!

* Offer valid only for girls.

Those who can't do any of these can attend the Bday Party I am throwing. You can come there with the mentality of an imbecile and eat what ever I buy you with out having the slightest feeling about what a disgusting friend ditcher (Dosth, dosth naaa rahaaaa...) you have been. Don't you worry when you see my big round eyes , about to cry or when you see me looking at your empty hands and smiling with a tinge of sadness on my face when you come to MY PARTY!!!!

Common man, just kidding but you can be there for the target practice at least can't you, friennnnd..... pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease

Live without regrets...

2007-07-08T12:54:00.000+05:30

Words once said cannot be taken back.. So is the case of life once lived

This is a true story . May be not of one person alone. It has been assimilated from the lives of different men I know. Let this not happen to you.

And now I sit here on this stony rail,
Feeding the pigeons off my hand.

I don't know which way i took off in life. I wanted everything, money,fame... Though I wasn't famous with the like of Mahatma Gandhi, I did become popular amongst my friends.

Got married , got on with life. Had children to whom i could never say I loved them. Worked very hard. At times I would say to them , I had sacrificed a lot for them. BUT WHAT?? The greatest of sacrifices could have been my time. I could not or rather did not spend any time with them.. I was in a rat race.

Did I love my wife?? How could I have loved her when the money and fame I boast about got me a mistress.When I look back, I was not able to give her a moment of peace or love. Now I realize how she felt, when left alone in this age where all the money and fame is of no use .I let her die without being loved and that, will be my fate too or worse. At least she had our children .

I was a bad example for my boys. But I am glad they never followed my path. It may had left a deep scar that they vowed never to be like me . In those few times I see them, I see their love towards their family. How their kids are happy around them. How they go on calling for Daddy for everything. I would want to go back into time, correct my mistake.

On that day I wrote a letter, For forgiveness In spite of all i had done, And for love For once before I die.

A few days later instead of a letter, my sons came to me. They said they had forgiven me .But they were sad for their mother. If only I had said it earlier. That day I cried and cried. But my kids were there to get me up.

Now I understood how my life should have been...
If only i could have relived my life......

Darkness And The Light: Conflicts Of a Human Mind

2007-04-25T12:04:00.001+05:30

--Darkness Is The Absence Of Light--

'Give him dreams that make this day to him miserable',
a gruff voice spoke in the dark. The voice seemed distant but it was so strong my heart was still for a while. It continued, 'Let him sleep,he needs sleep, I want him to suffer in his sleep,so his thoughts would wander back to me; (he will )Kneel down before me and do my will'.
The voice grew louder and stronger and sharp. So sharp I could feel it piercing my body and also the pain. His voice or hers I couldn't decipher. It was so hypnotising.

I was surrounded by Darkness but still could make out a man's figure on the ground. He seemed to be in pain. I couldn't move, it was as though my feet were nailed to the ground.
The voice started off again. I tried to locate it but seemed to come from the man on the ground.
'kneel,Kneel,KNEEL', it commanded.The man started moving as rigid as someone suffering from fits. I started to hear distant music play, ,music so soothing. The voice had also heard it. It was mumbling in languages I never heard before. I could make out he was commanding the young man on the ground.
He was gasping for air and struggling like a worm might on a fishing hook.
The music was going away and suddenly the man stopped struggling. Was he dead?
The music came closer.It could see Light at the end. End of what? Is this a room I am in?
The Light seemed to appear from nowhere. It was as though someone was there and i could not see him due to the light. It shone so bright in my eyes.It floated toward the man. He seemed young, the man. And also familiar. An odd resemblance to.....me!! Oh Lord, it was me. But how can it be. I am right here unable to move.Various questions raced through my mind. I was between the Light and Dark now. Halfway between. One part of me shadowed by the Darkness and one part illuminated by the Light.

He picked me up from the ground. I cuddled into his arms. I could see it was me in his arms. I was like a baby in his Mother's arms sleeping on her bosom.
There was no longer any sign of pain, just peaceful sleep.
The thing in the dark started speaking again or rather crying in frustration
'GIVE HIM TO ME, HE IS MINNNE..'.
The Light hadn't spoken since it appeared. It commanded in a voice full of love and care for the child in his hands.
'LEEAVE MY CHILD ALOONE'. Voice so strong and compassionate,the light suddenly spread into the dark.
I glimpsed a man.. a woman... an animal... i don't know. It was just for the blink of an eye i saw it covering its eyes from the light and receding into the dark.
Seemed as if the light inflicted pain on it. The light went back suddenly as it spread. It was left as before halfway between the Light and Dark.
I felt myself moving now. Moving towards my sleeping self. Soon I was asleep in those hands so soft as feather and in the warmth of his bosom.

--In Lumine Tuo , Videbimus Lumen--

-

അങ്ങനെ അതും കണ്ടു....

2006-08-15T12:28:00.000+05:30

എന്താ, ലോകം നന്നാവുവാണോ എന്നൊരു തോന്നല്‍. അല്ല, ഈ കഴിഞ്ഞ കുറച്ചു ദിവസങ്ങളിലെ ഓര്‍ത്ത്‌ പറഞ്ഞു പോയതാ...
പ്രതിപക്ഷവും ഭരണപക്ഷവും ഒരുമിച്ചു കൈ പൊക്കി സമരം ചെയ്യുന്നു!! നമ്മുടെ വിഴിഞ്ഞം പ്രശ്നത്തിണ്റ്റെ കാര്യമാ പറയുന്നത്‌. എന്തയാലും ഒരു കാര്യതിനെങ്കിലും ഒന്നിച്ചല്ലൊ.
പിന്നെ സ്മാര്‍ട്ട്‌ സിറ്റിയുടെ കാര്യം. അതും നടക്കാന്‍ പോകുന്നെന്ന്‌. കൊള്ളാമല്ലോ.
ഇതുപോലെയാ ബി.എം.ഡ്ബ്ള്യൂ. ഫാക്റ്റൊറി യും കൂടെയിങ്ങു പോന്നിരുന്നെങ്കില്‍......
ഏതായാലും ബോധൊദയം ഉണ്ടായതു നന്നായി. അല്ലെങ്കില്‍ നരഭോജികളെ പോലെ യാധര്‍ത്യത്തീന്ന്‌ ദൂരെ ജീവിക്കുന്ന ഒരു പറ്റം മനുഷ്യരായി കണക്കക്കിയേനേ ലോകം നമ്മള്‍ കേരളീയേരെ.
കോളയോടു കാണിച്ചതും നന്നയതെയുള്ളൂ . പല രാജ്യങ്ങളിലും നിരോധിച്ചിട്ടുള്ള സാധനങ്ങള്‍ മറ്റും കിട്ടുന്ന ഒരു അപൂര്‍വ സ്ഥലം ആണല്ലൊ ഇന്ത്യ. ഈ ഒരു നീക്കം ഇന്ത്യയിലേക്കു പാഴ്‌വസ്തുക്കള്‍ കയറ്റിയയക്കുന്ന ബഹുരാഷ്ട്ര കംബനികള്‍ക്കു ഒരു തിരിച്ചടിയാകട്ടെ.

ഇനി കുറച്ചു കാര്യങ്ങള്‍ കൂടി ശരിയായാല്‍ കേരളം കുറച്ചെങ്കിലും വിമോചിതയാകും. നമ്മുടെ പാര്‍വ്വതി കണ്ട കാഴ്ച്ചകളും , പാവം സ്വാമി അയ്യപ്പണ്റ്റെ പേരിലെ പ്രശ്നങ്ങളും അങ്ങനെ ചിലത്‌.

എല്ലാം വിധി.........

2006-08-07T11:56:00.000+05:30

വാതിലില്‍ ആരോ കൊട്ടി പടിക്കുന്നു. മൊബൈലില്‍്‍ സമയം നോക്കിയപ്പോള്‍ 4:30 മണി.ഞാന്‍ എന്തോ പിറുപിറുത്തുക്കൊണ്ട്‌ വീണ്ടും കിടന്നുറങ്ങി. വീണ്ടും അതാ താളം പിടിക്കുന്നു. സമയം നോക്കി ൧൫ മിനിറ്റ്‌ കഴിഞ്ഞതെയുള്ളൂ, 4:45....

അപ്പോഴാണു ആ സത്യം ഒരു ദുസ്വപ്നം പോലെ എന്നെ തേടി എത്തിയതു, ചിന്നുവിനെ റ്റൂഷനു കൊന്‍ഡുപോകണം. വീട്ടില്‍ ഒരു സ്കൂട്ടര്‍ വാങ്ങിച്ചതില്‍ പിന്നെ അതു എണ്റ്റെ ചുമതലയാണല്ലൊ.. കണ്ണു തിരുമ്മി വതില്‍ തുറന്നു..

അമ്മാവനും അമ്മായിയും വീട്ടില്‍ ഉണ്ട്‌. അവര്‍ തിരിച്ചു നാട്ടിലേക്കു പുറപ്പെടാനിരിക്കുവാണ്‌. അമ്മാവന്‍ മുറിയില്‍ വന്ന്‌ ഒരു സിഗെറെറ്റ്‌ കത്തിച്ചു. ഞാന്‍ മുഖം കഴുകി.

സമയമായി പോകാന്‍ . താക്കോല്‍ എടുത്തു ഞാന്‍ വണ്ടിയുടെ അടുത്തെക്കു ചെന്നു. ഇഗ്നീഷനില്‍ ഇട്ടു ഓണ്‍ ആക്കി. പോയിട്ടു തിരിച്ചു വരാന്‍ കഷ്ട്ടി പെറ്റ്രോളെയുള്ളൂ. ഈ രാവിലെ എവിടെ പെറ്റ്രോള്‍ പമ്പ്‌ തുറക്കാനാ... എന്നാലും റിസ്ക്‌ എടുത്തു. ചിന്നുവിനെയും പുറകില്‍ കയറ്റി, മുമ്പില്‍ സ്കൂള്‍ ബാഗുമായി അങ്ങനെ മുന്നോട്ട്‌.

രാവിലത്തെ തണുപ്പീന്ന്‌ രക്ഷപ്പെടാന്‍ മാത്രമുള്ള ഉടുപ്പൊന്നും ഇല്ല. ഒരു റ്റീ-ഷര്‍ട്ടും ബര്‍മൂടയും പിന്നെ ഒരു തൊപ്പിയും. ഇരിക്കട്ടെ . ഒരു സ്റ്റൈല്‍ അല്ലെ....

വണ്ടിയുമായിട്ടു ഞാന്‍ മുമ്പോട്ട്‌. പേരൂര്‍ക്കട പമ്പില്‍ നോക്കി. തുറന്നിട്ടില്ല. പിന്നെ നേരെ വിട്ടു. പോകും വഴി വട്ടിയൂര്‍ക്കാവില്‍ ഒരെണ്ണമുണ്ട്‌. പക്ഷെ അതും തുറന്നിട്ടില്ല. ഇനിയിപ്പോള്‍ എത്താന്‍ ഒരു കിലോമീറ്റര്‍ കഷ്ട്ടി.

പെട്ടെന്നണ്‌ അവന്‍ ഒരു ചെകുതാനെപോലെ മുമ്പില്‍ വന്നത്‌. ഒരു വെളുത്ത(ആരും കണ്ടാല്‍ ഭയക്കുന്ന) പട്ടി. പക്ഷെ ഞാന്‍ ഭയന്നില്ല. ഞാന്‍ അതി വിധക്തമായിയവനെ വെട്ടിച്ചു. പക്ഷെ അവന്‍ വിട്ടില്ല. കുരച്ചുക്കൊണ്ട്‌ പിറകേ കൂടി. എത്രയൊക്കെയയാലും ഞാനും ഒരു മനുഷ്യനല്ലെ. തെല്ല്‌ പേടിച്ചു. വളവൊന്നും കണക്കാക്കിയില്ല , ഒന്നു സ്പീഡ്‌ കൂട്ടി. എന്നാലും ഒരു 40 തേലാവും പോകുന്നത്‌.

അപ്പോള്‍ അതാ റോഡില്‍ ഒരു ഹര്‍ത്താല്‍ ദിവസത്തെ കല്ലിനെപ്പോലെ വേറൊരു പട്ടി. ചിലപ്പോള്‍ മറ്റേ പട്ടിയുടെ ഭാര്യയാവും. ഏതായാലും ഒന്നും ചോദിക്കാന്‍ പറ്റിയില്ല. അതിനു മുമ്പ്‌ വണ്ടി പട്ടിയെ ഇടിച്ചു. പിന്നെ ഞാന്‍ റോഡിലാണ്‌. കൈയ്യും കാലും മുറിഞ്ഞിട്ടുണ്ട്‌. ചിന്നുവിണ്റ്റെ കാലും. പക്ഷെ എടുതിട്ടു 5 ദിവസം പോലുമാവാത വണ്ടിയെ കുറിചയിരുന്നു ഭീതി. അതിണ്റ്റെ ഫ്ര്‍ണ്ട്‌ മുഴുവന്‍ ഉരഞ്ഞിരുന്നു.

ഏതായാലും വണ്ടിയും പൊക്കിയെടുത്ത്‌ ചിന്നുവിനെ റ്റ്യുഷന്‌ കൊണ്ടാക്കി. തിരിച്ചു വരും വഴി ആ രണ്ട്‌ ചെകുത്താന്‍മാരും കൂടി കൊഞ്ജി കുഴയുന്നു. ഒരു കല്ലെടുത്ത്‌ എറിയാന്‍ തോന്നി. പക്ഷെ നേരത്തെയുണ്ടായ അനുഭവം കണക്കിലാക്കി ഞാന്‍ ആ ദൌത്യത്തീന്ന്‌ പിന്‍മാറി.

അമ്മയെ മൊബൈലില്‍ വിളിച്ചു വിവരം ധരിപ്പിചിരുന്നു. ചെന്നിട്ടു മുറിവു കഴുകി.(ഭാഗ്യത്തിന്‌ പെറ്റ്രോള്‍ തികഞ്ഞു). ആശുപത്രിയിലും പോയി.

ഇപ്പോള്‍ എന്തായലും ബോറടിയുണ്ടെന്ന്‌ പറയാന്‍ പറ്റില്ല. ഹൊ...എന്നാലും ആ പട്ടികള്‍ക്കു ഒന്നും പറ്റിയില്ലല്ലൊ എന്ന സങ്കടം മാത്രം...........